'tis the season

Tis the season...

to be jolly

to feel loved

to love

to learn

to study

to grow.

to party

to improve

to give

to recieve

to celebrate

to grieve.

to sing

to dance

to cry

to laugh

to drink coffee

to sleep.

Most importantly tis the season...

to read

to anticipate

to prepare

to ready your heart

to plan

to wait.

The wait is finally (almost) over.

Christmas Cards

With only 12 days left until Christmas and only 10 short days before I leave with my family to the Dominican Republic, I finally found the motivation to write and send out Christmas Cards.  Along with the newly found motivation I also lost a a bit of study-motivation (which I am not so sure I had in the first place).  That is beside the point however as everything must get done, no matter the order of accomplishment.

I found these amazing and unconventional cards to send out for the holidays from Anthology, a cute crafters boutique on State Street in downtown Madison.   I automatically fell in love with these perfectly simple cards that have hints of the holiday season.









The pears brought to my mind the verse from the song "12 Days of Christmas" which is repeated over and over again: And a partridge in a pear treeeee...

I was also reminded of this wreath from desire to inspire.  I absolutely love the green apples giving a freshness to Christmas.
















And now sadly it is time to return to studying physics, only 9 days until I am done with this fall semester.  Praise theLord and Happy Holidays!

Crafty Crafts

Procrastination- (n) The art of crafting, baking, watching movies, taking pictures, singing, basically doing anything to avoid the inevitable thing called studying.

And procrastinate I did (with the help of some friends and pinterest).

Christmas time is here...

and, even though I gave in to listening to Christmas before the Thanksgiving holiday was over, I am now fully immersed in the Christmas-y spirit.

Hello beautiful tree.

205, my beautiful house which I now call home, has been Christmas-ized by Santa's elves creating an oasis from the busyness that is always found during the end of semester.  Fully decked out with a perfect tree and more itty-bitty trees, lights, snowflakes, Christmas stars, and stockings, our house is one hundred and ten percent ready for the holidays.   I am filled with joy every time I step back into this Christmas wonderland.  This joy, although partially stemming from the sparkle of our decorations, comes from those whom I get to share the Christmas cheer with.

The nine of us at 205 have become an amazing family and this makes me so joyful.  This Christmas season has become one full of love and happiness found in the friendships in our family.  I am so blessed to be stuck in this winter wonderland with these nine beautiful women who, whether they like it or not, get to live with the crazy and excited Christmas-y Melissa.

Stockings, lights, and snowflakes
oh my!

After preparing our house for this season of love and joy, I realized the necessity of preparing myself.  Despite the amount of joy I find in the decorations and the excitement that comes with it, I am so much more excited for what the Christmas season is truly about.  This year, more so than any other year, I am preparing my heart and mind for the coming of Christ.  In years past this preparation only occurred for me on Sundays during church.

Thanks to pinterest, I found a easy and fun way to get ready for the celebration of Jesus' birth.  For the twenty-five days before Christmas day I am learning about the life and teaching and just who the person of Christ is. (These scriptures can be found here)

This Christmas, I am more excited than ever and I hope you all are too!  Happy Holidays!

Lauren's baby tree.

The upstairs' beautiful tree.

                                                                                     

Always

Thankful. Blessed. Grateful. Loved. Cherished. Fortunate.

As the thanksgiving holiday comes to a close, I can only dwell on the fact of which I am extremely and undeservingly blessed.  Though I have daily struggles, these battles against my humanity are serving a higher purpose of sculpting me in to the greatest version of myself.  These small hurdles seem miniscule in comparison to the majority of humanity and, in pondering this over the past two days, I discovered the truth behind just how thankful I am.

There are so many things I am thankful for and I am so fortunate to be where I am today surrounded by so many people who cherish me.

four words

Today, Jesus Calling (a devotional written by Sarah Young) brought me to Philippians 4:6-7.  This is a tidbit of goodness that I love, and, sadly, this morning I went to this passage with the feeling of I have already read this and thought about it so, why is God taking me there today?  Despite this attitude (fueled in part by the coffee-less morning) I picked up my bible and read:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I paused for a minute and realized just why God had led me here this morning.  Four little words popped off the page in front of me.  These four words caused me pause, got my brain thinking, awakened my soul.

will guard your hearts...

The peace of God, His amazing peace, will guard my heart, will protect it from the outside world.  My heart will be protected in His peace.  

There's only one problem...

How do I find that peace which transcends all understanding?

Because right now my heart does not feel completely guarded.  It is too easy for me to slip into moments where I am vulnerable, but in a good way, not in the way God intended me to.

In Proverbs 4:23 it is written:

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

above all else, no ifs and or buts.  Above all else.

Musical musings

Today as I am sitting trying to find the motivation to study for my two exams tomorrow, I have been getting little nudges from God through the wonders of pandora.  Here are a few of them:


Be Thou my Wisdom, Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee, Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.


There's a voice that cries out in the silence
Searching for a heart that will love Him
Longing for a child that will give Him their all
Give it all, He wants it all
And there's a God that walks over the earth
He's searching for a heart that is desperate
And longing for a child
That will give Him their all
Give it all, He wants it all

And He says love me, love me with your whole heart
He wants it all today
Serve me, serve me with your life now
Bow down, let go of your idols
He wants it all today [x3]
So give it all


God so desperately needs our love.  He feels so much pain when just one of us turn away from Him.  I cannot even fathom how much He truly loves us.  In one sole action I can hurt the one person who loves me the most and who will never let me go.  My God is in such a deep relationship with me that He cries out when I forsake Him.  How easy is it for me to rush through life, not even taking a second glance at God's amazing work in my life?  This is God, my God.  He is the most POWERFUL, he is my TRUE WORD.  All of Him is with me forever, in everything.  His great power is in me, yet I can't even go one single day without causing Him pain.  This love is the love only love I need.  This amazing Agape. 

Studying??

Study- (verb) The act of texting, eating, and watching TV with an open textbook near by.

This is happening right now. I am so blessed to be "studying" with some amazing roomies and friends. These lazy day Sundays make the rest of the week worthwhile.

Lord, thank you for studying Sundays filled with football and amazing friends.

Helper

I can do ALL THINGS through Him who gives me strength.    Philippians 4:13

Reflecting on this passage I have realized that I do not rely on God for strength in all things.  In fact, I rely on God on only the tough things, the things that I know in my heart of hearts that I cannot possibly accomplish on my own.  In those situations I should be turning to Him for help and guidance, but what of the other moments in my life?

Does God not want to assist me in the small humbling tasks in my life?  Of course He does! HE helps me in all things, in every single thing I attempt in my life.

I pray that I use His amazing strength that He so willingly gives in the "easy" situations of my life.  I pray that I am constantly working alongside the Strongest Person in my life.  Lord, let my life be continuously strengthened by Your AWESOME POWER.

It's all about You

I'm coming back to the heart of worship,

and it's all about You, all about You Jesus.

My run today was an act of refocus, an act of return.  I gave it all to Him today remembering that He is my provider.  Without Him, I wouldn't be in the position I am in, able to run each and every day.  So often do I take that for granted.  It is so easy for me to forget that running is more than a stress relief, more than a fun hobby, more than provider of praise.  Running is a time of worship.  

I feel extremely close to God while running as the world He so awesomely created goes whizzing by.  I love the melodies created by the pounding of the pavement, my heartbeat, my breath, and the sounds of the world.  I feel attuned to the Spirit and how much I truly and desperately love the breath and the life that It gives me.  Running is an act of worship and should be treated accordingly; this I need to always remember.  I need to remember how I felt today, after this run and be worshipping You in each and every step I take on my run.

blessed life

Feeling good, feeling great.  My life is slowly increasing in pace allowing for gradually less free time, but somehow I am adjusting accordingly.  I am absolutely in love with the beautiful new house I am living in (you can see all of our amazing crafts and DIYs here).  And despite some major construction going on, were just getting a new roof, siding, windows, and porches (no big deal) I find peace and joy every time I walk in the door.  It has been an amazing blessing being in this community of 9 lovely friends.

Though I am injured (again) track has been surprisingly great.  Even through the changes in training and coaching I am once again falling more in love with Christ through my running and the amazing women I get to practice with each and every day.

That is all the update I have time for today as I am about to go enjoy the amazing sites and the beautiful weather by having lunch with an amazing lady at the Union in Madison.  I am thankful and feel so blessed today.

ice cream dreams

your love crashes over me

like an endless flood you overwhelm me

caught in the current i fade away

yet your love overtakes me

you have captured my heart

over again i am freed

you take my sin and redeem me again

always consuming is your love

i am forever yours

Resting

Rest isn't a verb often used in my life.  I often hear myself using the phrase "I'll sleep when I am dead" (not a good way of viewing life).  The world we all live in is a hustle and bustle world that never sleeps, never pauses, never rests.  I am a person who does not want to miss out on anything that the world offers me so I sacrifice my rest for more time to study, run, hang out with friends, or work.  I am not a person who is apt to just take a day, an hour, or a minute off of "something important" to take a breather.

During my past month at Saranac, we talked a lot about rest and what that looks like in a life being lived in the world.  Being secluded from the speedy movements of the world it was easy to find time to rest in the busyness of working at camp.  Yet, going back into life and back into the reality it has already proven extremely difficult to hit the pause button.

My pause button has two modes of rest, a button for physical rest and another for spiritual rest.  My physical rest is easily refilled and restored with a good 8 hours of sleep or by taking care of my body after a hard workout.  This first type of rest is much easier for me to attain.  It is the second type, spiritual rest, that is constantly being drained and never completely filled.  I so readily make excuses to not spend time with my Love by getting that extra hour of sleep, or by being too tired to do anything but look at blogs or watch TV.  This saddens me because I know in my heart of hearts that it is rest in Christ that fills me up and can give me more strength than any physical rest can.  During the past month I was physically exhausted yet I was more alive than I had ever been.  All that strength and perseverance and love and joy came from above, it didn't come from sleep or from myself.  It was all from Jesus.

If only I can continue to thrive on His awesome power in this world that I am now surrounded in.  I pray that I can remember to begin every day with rest in You, resting before I start my work so that I can credit You with giving me the endurance to carry on.  It is You who has the ability to let my work flourish, Lord.  I pray for no feelings of guilt to creep up on me during my times of rest both physically and spiritually.

You

set a fire down in my soul, that i can't contain that i can't control. i want more of you god, i want more of you god. there's no place i'd rather be. no place i'd rather be, no place i'd rather be, than here in your love. here in your love

hello world

I cannot fathom the fact that classes start again tomorrow.  It seems as if summer flew past me without a second glance backwards.  I am getting thrown back into the chaos of to-do lists, studying, time management, running - back into the chaos of real life.

It is terrifying going into this year realizing that I have no plans, no idea how I am going to use my major (or if I even want to continue it), and relying on God to be my only provider and my planner.

If I take one thing out of the past month of working and living completely in touch with God's power is the fact that God will provide.  He knows the plans He has for me.  He created me even before I existed and loves me unconditionally.  He will never let me go or throw me into the unknown with no means of escape or a way to reach Him.  His power is more mighty than any plan I can cook up for myself to become better.  His will is stronger than any humanly desire I might have.

I can only pray to have Him be my one desire day in and day out.  I am scared of the fact that I can so easily slip and fall back into the current I am so desperately fighting against.  All my temptations surround me each and every day yet, when I rely on Him to give me strength and to fight for me, I can stay afloat.

I am so thankful to be living in an amazing community of 8 other girls who are all amazing women of God.  I am so blessed to be in such a positive place full of people who will hold me accountable.  I cannot wait to see how God works in us and in our time together.  The group of us is going to be a lot stronger than any one of us separated and all of us are going to grow together in His love.

mini reflections

Back in the real world yet still in summer staff community, I find myself having a few spare minutes to reflect on the past month.

From July 27th to August 27th I was surrounded 24/7 by an amazing Christ centered community in one of the most beautiful places in the world, Saranac Lake, NY.  During that month I grew not only in my relationship with Christ but also as a women of God and a friend and community member.  I was challenged yet never put into any situation I couldn't handle.  I learned about the real power of prayer and the significance of praying continually.  I learned how to let God protect and hold my heart and how to fall completely and utterly in love with HIM.  I learned of the significance of being immersed in a community of believers and of the importance of a Christ family. 

This past month was indescribable but, in the coming days before class starts up again and I fully step out of Narnia I will attempt to shed light on the magnificence of this past month.

As for now after 2 cancelled flights, I am enjoying my final day in Rochester with a little piece of my home from the last month.

I am so blessed to be so loved by You Lord.   Your grace is given to me undeservedly and I am in awe of how deep and wide and long your love is for me.

gradu-ma-cation

Today is the day my younger brother Nick graduates from High School.  I cannot believe it has already come upon us...  It seems like just yesterday that he was calling me Sissy and he was best known as Nickoness.  After 18 long years of him being in my life he is finally becoming an adult, finishing one chapter of his life and diving right into the next.

Nick and I, being only 2 years apart, have had our differences.  Like any family we fight.  Laughing I look back on one of these fights which ended dramatically in books being thrown which, in turn, caused a dented wall.  Those were the crazy days full of excitement, I was a moody teenage girl who was trying to find herself and Nick was, sadly, the receiver for much of that frustration.  Thankfully, I grew up and so did he.  Now, I have so much love and respect for my brother and I truly believe he will go on to conquer the world.

Nick, I wish you all the luck in the world.  You have already grown into an amazing man and I can only hope that some of my advice didn't fall on deaf ears (even if you pretend not to listen).  I love you dearly my brother.  You survived the craziness (I say that lovingly) that is our family and learned to deal with many a circumstance.

Happy graduation Nicholas Assalone, enjoy this moment as you turn the page and head off into the amazing real world (well part of it).  I love you.

praying...

If you all could please pray for my Grandma Assalone.  Pray for her strength and perseverance.  Pray also for her comfort , that she is able to comfortably enjoy the remainder of her life.
She is an amazing and tough women whom I love dearly.  I just pray that she turns to You during this time of struggle and relies on You to be her comforter.

Please just keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

quick life update...

These past 3ish weeks since school has ended have been a whirlwind, full of busy days as well as lazy days full of nothing more than coffee and a great book.  Both these types of days are equally lovely, allowing me to have balance in my life.  Yet through this balance in the past three weeks much has occurred.

First of all, two of my greatest friends have left the state, off to discover themselves and to grow as a Christ-follower.  Without them, a necessity to fill my time has arose.
        In these times of loneliness are when I feel the most vulnerable and I feel far away from the One who loves me and is with me constantly.  In this loneliness I searched for someone to fill that void while I know in the back of my head and in my heart there is only ONE who can ever fill that place.  Yet, I find it so easy to push Him away or to ignore where He is sending me. 

On the other hand, this extra time on my hand has allowed me to reconnect with some amazing women whom I have missed dearly in my life.  With an amazing summer bucket list laid out I am looking forward to continuing to build amazing friendships with these amazing women.  I am truly blessed that I have not been given up on and still have a piece of their hearts.

Finally, I am beginning to feel God's pull and tug on my life once more.  There was a period during these last few weeks in which I could not feel His hand working in my life.  I felt abandoned and lost.  I realize now that of course He had never left me; I, in fact, was the one who was leaving Him.  Yes I was still reading the word and learning about Him but, I was not actively searching Him.  I forgot to take action once again and was, instead, sitting and waiting for Him to take charge and fix my life. 
         Now, it is finally getting better, I am realizing how and when I am supposed to take action and actively seek out His voice in everything and anything I do.  I just pray that I do not forget this as my days become filled with work.  I pray that I do not forget that even the little actions to find You matter and that staying in constant communication with You will allow me to fill Your presence in my life.

easy-bake life

Being alone with my thoughts is SCARY!
Being forced to contemplate everything is terrifying because I find myself exploring paths that I never ever wanted to travel down again.  It would be a lot easier for me to fill my days to the brim with anything and everything under the sun in order to avoid introspection.  It would be easy.

But....
Since when did I make the decision to try to make my life the easiest as possible?  Since when have I decided to walk around a hurdle instead of facing it head on?
An easy life is not one that I want to experience.  I want to be challenged each day in order to GROW and to become ready to meet You.  Days of nothingness allow me to grow, allow me to analyze my life, my decisions, my thoughts, everything that composes me.  Days of nothingness are a struggle and always will be because I do not like reflection (especially when I know that I have not been on fire for You).

I am throwing away the easy in my life and taking this obstacle head on without avoidance.  I need to face my past if I ever desire to grow up and beyond the tiny box I am stuck in.  This is where I need Your help, I need You to comfort me and forgive me for everything that I have ever done to make my life easy.

Action

Why is it that in the summertime, during days with no structure and no schedule, do I feel furthest away from God?

During these days I have no where to be, nothing to do; relaxation is the goal of these summer days before work has started.  Instead of finding relaxation and peace in God, I find myself ignoring His calls. I am turning away from Him and falling into the world full of struggle and questions and doubt.  It is in these days where I should become even closer to my Savior than I could have ever thought possible but, it just isn't happening.

I am not sure if it is the lack of structure that causes my brain to totally and utterly turn off and turn away from processing one intelligent thought.  Without a to-do list I find myself saying, "I will spend time with You later."  This is frustrating and causing me to circle the drain never falling down or raising up.  I am in the middle of the monotony.  I do not like this place one bit.  I am a person who enjoys each and every success, no matter how small, and who learns from each and every struggle.  Where is my growth coming from if I am continually moving but not going any where?

It is in days like today that I have to remember that following God is a choice, it is ACTIVE.  I have to take action to allow Him to take control.  This in itself seems to be an antithesis yet, this is how God works.  He always has control of my life yet I have to actively give that control to Him to go anywhere.

I just pray that I can continually actively search for Your Face.  I pray that I find Your purpose in unstructured summer days.  I pray that You help me stop moving 'round and 'round and stand up and face You no matter how comfortable I am.  Help me lead a happily uncomfortable life.  I love You.

Coffee, coffee, coffee

Its 100% official (and I suppose it has been official for quite some time now) I am addicted to coffee (especially starbucks)!!!

I find myself, after having a giant cup of freshly brewed homemade coffee (from starbucks, no doubt) this morning, back at starbucks solely for the reason that it was not tooooo... far out of my way back home. This is quite the conundrum.  A well as quite the problem.

There is just something about coffee that is the perfect drink for my life no matter what the weather is like and no matter what I am feeling.  A iced vanilla latte for summer relaxing days, mochas for... well you know, cappuccinos go perfectly with a sweet treat or while reading about my Best Friend.  Some days a warm chai is just what I need, while others a simple coffee with cream is sufficient.  The best time of the year for coffee reasons is fall when the pumpkin spice lattes make their appearance.

No matter what is going on in the world outside, the swirling changes of time, nothing can deter my love for coffee, coffee, and more coffee.  I find comfort and a sense of familiarity in each and every cup I drink.  Maybe this is crazy, but I feel as if I am drawn to the dark richness of the coffee and not to the caffeine factor.

Anyways, basically I adore coffee and everything that goes along with it (the coffee shops, the friends, the peace, the homeyness).

Waiting, hoping, wanting...

These three verbs are a huge part of my life right now, as this week is a enormous transition from being a full time college student and being constantly on the run from one activity to the next, to now, having absolutely nothing pending or needing to be accomplished.  I have realized over this past week that I am  not good at motivating myself to do any old thing when my whole life is not scheduled out.  I find myself thinking of so many things I could be doing and that I need to do by the end of summer but, I just cannot bring myself to do any of them.  

I am waiting for the time when I am busy to actually accomplish something?  This should be the opposite.  I don't know what I am thinking.  I am waiting for that one text, that one call.  I am stuck in this time of nothingness.  I am waiting for July 27.  My summer is on hold until that date.  I am waiting for work to officially start.

I am hoping to read a gazillion good books... yet have not bought any.  I am hoping to hang out with young life girls... yet I have not made that text.  I am hoping to discover just who I want to be this summer... yet I haven't moved past my current state of mind.  I am hoping to have the best summer... yet all I have done is catch up on sleep and TV shows.

I want this to be different.  If this summer is going to be different I need to make a move, I need to find motivation and inspiration somewhere.  I want my heart to find something that I truly love and can pour into.  I want to find the perfect place to volunteer and to give back to this amazing world and city I live in.

so long, farewell

Fact about myself, I am horrible at goodbyes.

Basically I start freaking out, mumbling and rambling on and on never wanting to get to that one final, closing word.  GOODBYE.

Today my roomate, friend, and teammate had her last final, packed up all of her belongings, and made all the arrangements needed to leave Madison.  She got everything ready to say goodbye to this city that she has spent the past 5 years in growing, learning, and forming friendships.

I speak for a lot of people when I say I am going to miss her.  Hanna has been a great role model and has challenged me to grow and to go above and beyond for the people and things I love.  Hanna will forever have a special place in my heart and I am extremely sad to see her go (no matter how much better this next chapter in life will be for her).

Hanna deserves every bit of success that will come to her in the next years, the past few years will not define her for she did not let them break her.

I love Hanna to death so goodbye my friend, I will be seeing you. :)
Thank you for everything you have done for me and may God hold you and keep you as you continue your journey through this crazy thing called life.

Oasis

There is something about today, this moment that I truly love.  I am perfectly and amazingly content in my own little bubble of calm.  There is no stress in my mind yet it is pouring out of every pore of those surrounding me.  Sitting here, looking out over the lake, listening to some of the most beautiful music ever composed, I am at peace.  I truly feel like I am being renewed inwardly (2 Corinthians 4:16) in this moment, this oasis of tranquility.  I am in love with this moment and I wish each and every moment of my life could be this inspired.

River Flows in You- Yiruma

wonderings

As the semester is coming to close I am once again found stuck in the mud with no motivation whatsoever to get out.  I am not interested in spending hours upon hours the next few days studying, writing, and focusing on classes which I am not passionate about.  My dreams of travel and adventure and music are taking over driving me to plan out my journeys on Google Maps, chose which concerts I want to experience, and what songs I want to learn on my violin instead of studying ochem and spanish and zoology.

I need some motivation! I cannot seem to remember that my success in these classes can very well determine the course of my life, closing doors if I fail.  Why then, if I know all of this am I struggling to find a shred of drive, a few days brimming with purpose?  I know I can do all things through Him who gives me strength, but maybe the strength He is giving me isn't meant to be with school work?

Why is my heart so bent on exploration on having no ties and journeying through this beautiful world?  I guess I just wonder what my purpose is in college if I am constantly craving adventure...

news

Celebration of murder?

I realize that murder is a strong word with specific connotations but, is that not what just happened to Osama Bin Laden?  Was he not just murdered?  Or is it considered something different when he himself was a murderer of countless humans?

I just do not know what to think in situations like this...
Murder is wrong.  Killing is wrong. Where is the line in the sand?  What are the ethical precedents behind this?

I have absolutely no idea nor do I pretend to.  I just feel a little uncomfortable celebration the murder of a human life, in any sense of the word.

All I know is:
Justice is in God's hands.

love madison

 It is official, I love Madison.
I love this city.  I love absolutely everything about this lovely city.  From the moments of tranquility found on walks to the Majestic Theater for church on sleepy Sundays to the crazy chaos of Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights, this city has tugged on each of my tender heart strings.  Now, this feat must not go overlooked or passed by for my heart strings have become wound up so tightly that they are not anymore prone to become latched on to anything.  Madison has managed, in the past two years of living here, in the midst of it all, to slowly work its way in, changing my heart and overflowing it with love.

There is no turning back or ignoring of this kind of LOVE.  I am hooked.
From the goodness and the beauty:
                of the isthmus, the lakes, the arboretum, picnic point, coffee shops, and the amazing community (and the camaraderie that comes with it)
To the craziness and the wildness:
              of weekly partying past the limits, of intolerance, of the sheer destruction of the beauty.
I love allllll of that, the good, the bad, and the ugly of Madison.  Because, after all, no city can ever reach perfection.

This manifestation of mine came about in the wee morning hours during the preparations for cleaning up Mifflin St. after the block party of epic proportions from the day before.  Standing on the street, being overwhelmed by the sheer destruction of beauty I was discouraged.  I was tired (after being sleep deprived the past couple nights) and my mind could not manage to process how this mess could ever be cleaned, how the beauty can be restored.  After all, the scene was described as, "looking like a tornado hit" by my new friend Emma from Middleton.  This tornado must have been of epic size, touching anything and everything on Mifflin,  scattering beer, garbage, alcohol, and waste in each direction.

But how could we, a group of people in love with Madison (God's creation) restore everything affected by this "tornado?

It was a miracle, every year it is.  Time flew as I found myself enjoying picking up beer cans and laughing when spilling copious amounts of beer on my clothes.  I found inspiration in the faces of everyone who sacrificed sleep and possibly sanity to wake up and clean the debauchery from the previous countless hours of "fun".  I found a new friend in 11 year-old Emma who worked tirelessly cleaning off each and every balcony of debris.  Through Emma I remembered God's promise to us.

The Lord will restore the splendor of Jacob like the splendor of Israel, though destroyers have laid them waste and have ruined their vines. Nahum 2:2

Human destruction no matter how severe can never destroy God's creation.  End of Story.  PTL. And love Madison.

daydreaming

I am tired of making excuses and not taking advantage of the freedom I have (and will have especially this summer).  I am tired of dreaming about traveling about rock climbing, about living.  I have great and amazing chances and opportunities given to me from God that could only be possible at this point in my life having no ties whatsoever.

This summer (starting in 13 days) will be utterly and magically inspiring for me.  I am going to stop daydreaming about the possibilities my life can possess rather, I am going to seize the day.  I am going to carpe diem the crap out of my life.  I am motivated and inspired by the lack of chains tying me up and also by the extreme majesty that is this world I live in.

I want to go out and experience ALL of God's creation.  Done and done.  Summer better watch out.

oh dear

I confess, I have been sucked up into the beauty and grace of the wedding of William and Catherine that occurred earlier this morning.

I can only hope and dream that I marry my best friend, the person who makes me want to be the best person I can potentially be.

Oh love.

strength

I don't have to be strong for You.  I don't have to be put together, be OK, to be in Your presence.  I don't have to be perfect for You.

I can come to you weak, broken, hurt, imperfect, sinful.  I can seek You in my darkness at the bottom of my bottomless pit.  I can find You through all my worldly vices.

Through all my imperfections You are still there.  You still love me, You still care.

Your greatest desire is to HOLD me, COMFORT me, to unconditionally love me.


You gladly take all my weaknesses and eventually turn them into strengths.
You change me from the inside out, all it takes is a leap of faith on my part.

held

I have given them your word and the wold has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world.  My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one.

John 17:14-15

Even in His final days of life Jesus doesn't ask for protection for Himself, but selflessly asks His father to protect us, the very people who betrayed Him.  I am held in the protecting arms of Your father.  You gave up everything for us.  The perfect was given up for the imperfect.

I love Jesus, I love my savior.

coffee break

Pause.  Step back.  Turn off the music, the noise in life and listen.  Listen to the world.  Listen to the earth.  Listen to the creation.  Take it all in.  It is all here, all here for enjoyment.  So appreciate it, take it all in.  

God created all of this.  Respect it, care for it, love it.  Love in it.  

^{Genesis 1:29-30} Then God said, “I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food.  And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds in the sky and all the creatures that move along the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food.” And it was so. 

Legit.  God trust us.  He loves us.  Calls us to rule.  Gives us the power to care for His creation.  For this creation is not ours for the taking, it is all His; it all belongs to Him.  

He lets us rule, falling into sin, destroying His world, His perfection.  Yet, in all the failures He comes down swooping us up into His embrace, into His unending love.  It is in this love that He becomes the Savior, the Sufferer, the Sacrifice.  Through the destruction and breakdown He become the Light, taking with Him every darkness that was, is and will be.  

How inconceivable is it that He (the Most Powerful, the Most High) suffered horribly and was killed just to save me?  Since when have I ever deserved this?  Are my actions and thoughts reflections of this great love I have been shown? 

I think not.  

Let me continually show the blessings and continual love given to me in sacrifice in each and every day.

i can do anything

I can do anything through Him who gives me strength.

I just wish I could be like Jessica and remember this every moment, every day.  I tend to forget I have the most powerful Man on my side.

thundersnow

Two things that seemingly never go together, thunderstorms and snow are somehow managing to happen at the same instant, occurring in magnificent harmony.

All of this harmony is because of Him.

Thank You for my life not being one melody, one voice, un-enhanced by the multitude of notes and rhythms added by the day surrounding me.  Thank You for being here even when the harmony of Your grace and love is being drowned out by my needs and desires.  Thank you for the reminders of Your presence in this thundersnow.

love

"All you need is love".

From the beginning of life we are taught how to be loved and how to love in return.  Love is the basis of our knowledge, it is the foundation of our culture, of our world.  Without the love of a man and a women I would not be here, nor would anyone else.  If no one had love, the world would be nothing.  This idea of love comes at us from all sides rushing in on us like an avalanche of snow, pounding at us, never subsiding until we "understand" what love is.

But what is love?  The three types of love are all magnificent, beautiful emotions holding together our out-of-control life.  In songs love is described as:  Something to do anything for, more than words, something that can overcome any obstacle, something crazy, sex, lust, want, and need.  This cultured version of love is not exactly what God had in mind when He created love.  Sounds amazing right?  I find myself falling into the belief that I need and crave this kind of puppy-dog love.  I find myself asking God when is it my turn to have someone love me and to take care of me and to just sit with me whenever I need it.

I think I now realize all those questions and needings of "love" is exactly why I should not and do not have that kind of love in my life.  Since when do I need a man to fulfill me?  I shouldn't be looking to a lowly human to fill my life.  I should be 100% relying on God to fill me up, to hold me and to listen to my hurts and sadness.  He should be forever the only person I truly NEED.

I want to be in love with my amazing God of Love.

worship

I will praise You continually, forever.  I will worship You.

I won't worship You only in song, for worship is more than just one fleeting moment in a church on a early Sunday morning.  Worship cannot be contained, it is undefinable.  It is everything and everything that makes You smile.  


Do I make You smile in everything I do?  Are you smiling right now?  How can I forever be living for You?

I crave to make You so immeasurably happy.

lets go

It's time for me to get out of this funk.  It is time to find my motivation and my inspiration again.  I feel as if I am living in perpetual writers block but, instead of this just affecting my writing, it is affecting everything I am doing.  The looming deadlines and pounding of my head should cause me to be worried or stressed, something; instead I am stuck in the doldrums.  I have no fluctuations, nothing really bad but, nothing really good either.  Right now I can only describe my emotions as blah; I am stuck in a dark cloud that will not rain or turn into sunshine.

It's at these points in my life when I need You the most.  I need Your arms to hold me and comfort me and tell me that life goes on and that You have great plans for me.  It's right now that I need You to be right next to me holding my hand and my heart.  Yet why can I not feel You?

cloudy

Well, Madison is again overcast which is a good reflection of my emotions of the day.  After a not so great race last night, the clouds seemed to enclose my mind, wrapping around every thought casting a little shadow over everything.  I realize that it is just one race and a small one at that but, with the countless hours and hard work I have invested I wish I had a little something to show for it.

Obviously I want recognition, my mind and my thoughts have been shaped to seek this because of the world I live in.  In this world I am considered mediocre, not good enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough.  But, to whose standards am I being compared to?  If I am mediocre than what is awesome and amazing? Who decides what is "the best"?  Who sets the standards?  No one in the views of the world can ever be the best thing or the best person ever, it's just a fact; there is always going to be someone smarter or better or faster than you.


Well it is a great thing that I have Jesus who loves me and tells me that I am amazing and awesome and smart and good.  He doesn't compare me to anyone else, He just loves me.  HE is AWESOME!

PTL :)


PS (PATRICK please don't lightning me)

race day

Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.  And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus.  Hebrews 12:1-2

I can do this.  I am running for Him, for an audience of one.  He gives me the strength.  Let me glorify Him through this race tonight.

Thanks to Linds for this amazing inspiration and motivation today.

purpose

A huge theme in my life this past week has been purpose and all the implications surrounding this topic.  Having to figure out classes for next semester, applying for summer jobs, and talking about track all have got me thinking:  Just what is my purpose?  What is God's purpose for me?  What do I want my purpose to be?  Do those 2 match up?  How can my life be purpose driven if I don't even know what my purpose is?

What is my purpose?  Now that is a loaded question and anyone who knows their own answer to this questions I am in awe of.  I have absolutely positively not a clue as to what my purpose in life is at this moment.  The big picture remains a mystery to me, floating around just out of reach.  I get glimpses of what my purpose may look like but, this is all to no avail.  I have yet been able to reach high enough to grasp my purpose out from under God's hands.

I have started to read and go through the book A Purpose Driven Life with my friend and teammate Sarah and so far it has immensely helped me become at peace with the fact that I may not know my purpose in life yet.  It all will be O.K. because God is love, and this Love will never leave me or lead me astray; that is pretty awesome.  I have Him to become my driving force, my reason for doing things.  I am trying to no longer be motivated and pushed by wanting to be better than another person (comparisons) or resentment or anger (jealousy) or materialism.  I want God to be in the forefront of my actions, my thoughts, my everything.  I want His light to be my lamp, my guidance.  In fact I need it.

Without Him I would be living a life full of hopelessness; I would be a chicken with its head cut off wandering through the world, with not a clue as to what is going on or where I am going.  With Jesus I have hope, I have a future, I have peace.  Thank goodness for that.  Despite not knowing what my purpose is or which roads I am going to take, I know where I will end up.  No matter what journey He decides for me they will all end in the same amazing paradise.  And this is what I will focus on.  I won't focus on the fact that I have NO idea where life will take me because God already knows my way, He makes my paths straight and will lead me to Him when it is all said and done.

hello computer

Yes, you guessed it my computer is back 100% fixed sitting on my beautiful desk in my beautiful room looking out over the beautiful Madison campus on this beautiful spring day.

As you may have noticed I am so in love with the amazing beauty that God has put around me, it is truly jaw-dropping to experience it all.  My window is open and I hear the sounds of birds chirping away adding to the beauty of this moment even more.

Living computer-free for the past couple days has really helped me become thankful for the ease it brings to my life (especially in school work) and the beauty it can help me create (some of these beautiful things) but also, I have become aware just how much this machine was taking control of my life (and not in a good way).  Instead reading a good book or even just looking out of my window I would spend hours browsing facebook, stumbling, and blogging.  This is an absolutely ridiculous way to spend my with all this beauty surrounding me.  In the past week I now know that I do not need or want to go on facebook multiple times a day.  After all, all facebook seemed to do for me was to allow for comparison of me and others.  I was comparing my life with other peoples so called "facebook life".  In Galatians 6:4 Paul writes that we are to, "take pride in [ourselves] alone, without comparing [ourselves] to someone else."  Whoa, this is exactly the opposite of what I was doing on facebook.  Interesting.... very interesting.

Hmmmm, I do believe God was trying to slip a little love note into my life by taking away my computer and I love that He cares enough about me to want to help me.  He loves me so much that He exercises His justice in order to allow me the best life possible.

I pray that, now that I have my computer back, that I use it as a supplement to my life and not as the main focus.  I pray that You stay the main focus of my life.  Keep my eyes open to the beauty of the spring you have created for me.  I love You so much!!!

One day...

Today is One Day Without Shoes, for more information see the TOMS website.  Today I am happy to say that countless sidelong glances and confused (and sadly sometimes judgemental) looks later I feel honored to be a part of this great cause.  After only walking around for half of the day so far my feet are already tired and hurting and cold but, this is nothing compared to a life lived in worse conditions without ever owning a pair of shoes.  Today I am making a difference but, at the same time this is such a miniscule thing to do.  This brings awareness to the sufferings and struggles of so so so many people in this world.  Today, a light was shone on my heart, helping me realize that I take so much for granted.  I take for granted my freedoms (especially the right to vote on this election day) and all my things (especially my overly-excessive shoe collection.  I am trying to pause and take a step back and be truly thankful for the billions of blessings God has given to me.  I am truly so blessed in my life it is absolutely incredible.

updates...

So, as many of you know I have been a bit MIA lately due to computer issues (aka a dead hard drive) and have had to spend sometime technology-less.  This past week of no TV (my lenten sacrifice) and no computer I have learned an abundance of things:

1. God is LOVE: He loves me so much that he puts hurdles in my life just so that He can hold my hand and help me succeed.  God is also Just: this is because of His infininte love and His desire to have give me the best life possible.
2.  God answers prayers:  Before my computer broke I prayed for more quiet time to spend with God throughout my crazily hectic weeks and SURPRISE, no more computer... Hmm... He is so hilarious.
3.  I am very blessed: through it all especially last month I still had a Savior, and friends, and community, and family, and shelter, and food, and clothes, ok you get the picture (but this list could go on forever).
4.  I am thankful.
5.  Technology can be good in some aspects but, I need to not abuse the privlege anymore.
6.  I LOVE SPRING!!!

More updates on my life to come I promise but, writing about all of them in the Fetzer and not in the privacy of my apartment seems weird to me...

By the way happy (belated) birthday to two people very dear to my heart, Chelsea and Nicole!!

love, love, love

I am so utterly and completely in LOVE with God right now.  I love His awesome power, His mercy, His justice, and His immeasurable love.  How did I become so lucky as to have the best person in the whole universe be my best friend/ my everything?  I am in awe that someone who knows everyone and everything on this earth cares enough about me to Help and Hold me every single second of my life.  God is beyond our knowledge; there is no possible way for us to ever grasp His vastness yet, He comes down to earth in Spirit to live INSIDE of me.  He is always here with me!   I tend to forget that as I go throughout my days.  Everything I do He knows about.  So, when I am thinking about how crappy the day is or how unattractive I look He is being offended.  I am making Him so mad at me.  He created each and everyday for a purpose.  He created me!  I am His best piece of art, yet when I do not have confidence in myself it is like I am taking His masterpiece and writing it off saying, "it could have been better."

Not OK.  I am so happy that I am fearfully and wonderfully made by God, by my friend.  He created me and said I am beautiful.  He created my beauty for a purpose, He will NEVER leave His dwelling place inside me.  WOW.  Psalm 139 lays all of this out beautifully, and this will be my focus for the rest of eternity.
 
I am in Love with Your LOVE.

time

Time is of the essence, time flies.

The concept of time is inconceivable.  Each day can seemingly take eternity or it can fly by in a blink of an eye.  Each day can be easy, a breeze, or terribly difficult.  How each day manages to be so unique is beyond me and no matter how hard I try this is only one of the many mysteries of life I will not be able to figure out.  And, I am surprisingly OK with that.  There is no rhyme or reason to the variance of days.  Except there is... For God controls all things, in Him there is a time for everything.

I find comfort in that.  Lord, give me patience and strength  to make it through each different day, taking one day at a time.

spring is springing!

Today I had the pleasure of viewing some amazingly beautiful and inspiring first-blooms of Madison.  These tiny blue flowers sprinkling the lawn outside of Brge Hall has a bigger impact on my day than I ever thought flowers could.  Not only did they represent winter receding back into his dark cave but, the emergence of sleepy spring slowly but surely coming out to greet us all.  Through the still brown and dead grass, hope poked its head showing me that there is everything in the world to have hope for. 

Immediately after seeing these beauties I thought of Song of Solomon, how he is telling his beloved that the beauty of spring and the abundance of life and happiness that flow along with it are coming!  See! The winter is past; the rains come and gone.  Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land.  The fig tree forms its early fruit; the blossoming vines spread their fragrance come my darling; my beautiful one, come with me.  Song of Solomon 2:11-13.

 Um yes please!  Yes, Iwill come with You, I will follow you with the hope of more and more beauty and life.  I will come with You for renewal for strength.  I want You to surround me with the renewal of Your springtime.

mishpat

Justice (n)- The upholding of what is just, especially fair treatment and due reward in accordance with honor, standards, or law.

Ok, sure but what does just mean?  The idea of justice truly boggles my mind; I have no idea where to even begin to think about this hugely important subject.  How is my life going to be changed by justice? What is my place, my purpose in God's justice mission?  How am I going to share the grace so generously given to me justly?

These are just a few of the many questions without answers floating around in my head after the 3rd week hearing about JUSTICE at church (you can watch these sermons here). 

Today I started reading Generous Justice: How God's Grace Makes Us Just by Timothy Keller and have already begun to feel immense challenges.  Already Keller has rooted in my mind the fact that God's justice mission is bigger than I could have possibly imagened.  In fact, His mission is so big that the name He wants to be called is, "a father to the fatherless, a defender of widows" (Psalm 68:4-5).  WOW.... this is a lot bigger than I thought.

I want to be a part of this, I want to act justly, walk humbly, showing mercy and love.  I can only hope I am worth of this calling.

live from Milwaukee

Last night I got to experience another amazing live music perfrormance by Amos Lee.  And, surprise, surprise, I fell in love with the pure awesome sound that filled my night.  The Riverside theater was filled with Amos' unique and utterly beautiful voice as I stood their surrounded by his fans having the pleasure to hear the melodies. 

I wish every night of mine could be filled with live passion stemming from the core of musicians.  The utter happiness I experience after concerts is only comparable to the runner's high I feel after the endorphins kick in after an amazing workout. 

A truly amazing end to the week, this concert was a perfect combination of friends, good music, and happiness.

friday, friday

Inspired by Rebecca Black I am so so excited for friday!  After a long and arduous week full of tests (both in school and in life) I am so grateful that it is finally friday.  This friday is a day of many reflections over the roller-coaster ride that was the past week.

This week I realized that my teammates have my back and are watching out for me.  I am truly blessed to be a part of that family (no matter how dysfunctional it may be at times).

I realized that I love technology, no other way would I be able to learn about the struggles in Japan and the Middle East while looking up the latest viral youtube and catching up with old friends.

I realized that without God as my shepherd this week I would be struggling to stay afloat, but in Him and with His Spirit I am able to see the joy in life and take heart.

I realized today that no matter how far away God may seem, He is never ever away from my presence.  When it seems like He is on the other end of the universe and I am frustrated with Him beyond measurement, I tend to turn away from Him.  "But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul" (Deuteronomy 4:29).  In those moments of desperation and fear I will find God with me even then, in my darkest hour.  All I have to do is look and listen.

I have tried the whole listening more to God this week and lo and behold, it made all the difference in the world.  Through these trials I have heard His comfort in the strong gusts of wind rushing off of the lake.  I have heard Him express His love for me through music.  I have heard His anguish and sadness over my departure from His side in the thunderstorms.  Little by little I am learning how to listen.

Lord, I pray that I forevermore listen to your little nuances throughout my days.  I pray that I have constant reminders of love and compassion for me.  Lord, bless me and keep me, uphold me with your righteous right hand.  I am so grateful for the wonders you have done in my life this past week. Amen.

uncontrollable

Sometimes thing happen that are totally and utterly out of your control.  There is nothing you could have done to change them no matter how much you try.  There is no going back; what's done is done; the past is in the past.  A part of you turns and hides from the world, realizing that it is safer to recede than to prowl openly on the surface.  And, the scariest thing is that it is out of your hands, uncontrollable. 

Thankfully Jesus is my light and my salvation, and I will focus on the things above.  

The Lord is my light and my salvation-

    so why should I be afraid?

The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger,

    so why should I tremble?

When evil people come to devour me,

    when my enemies and foes attack me,

    they will stumble and fall.

Though a mighty army surrounds me,

    my heart will not be afraid.

Even if i am attacked,

    I will remain confident.

The one thing I ask of the Lord-

    the thing I seek most-

is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,

    delighting in the Lord's perfections

    and meditating in his Temple.

For he will conceal me there when troubles come;

    he will hide me in his sanctuary.

    He will place me out of reach on a high rock.

There I will hold my head high

    above my enemies who surround me.

At his sanctuary I will offer sacrifices with shouts of joy,

    singing and praising the Lord with music.                     <--------------while listening to this song (Praise You  

Hear me as I pray, o Lord.                                                                        in this Storm by Casting Crowns) 

    Be merciful and answer me!                                                                       during the thunderstorm outside, I find 

My heart has heard you say, "Come and talk with me."                         I love the fact that You are my help in 

    And my heart responds, "Lord, I am coming."                                       the storm.  You are the all-powerful

Do not turn your back on me.                                                                        everything to me.  You never will leave

    Do not reject your servant in anger.                                                       me and for that I praise You.

    You have always been my helper.

Don't leave me now; don't abandon me,

    O God of my salvation!

Even if my father and mother abandon me,

    the Lord will hold me close.

Teach me how to life, O Lord.

    Lead me along the right path,

    for my enemies are waiting for me.

Do not let me fall into their hands.

    For they accuse me of things I've never done;

    with every breath they threaten me with violence.

Yet I am confident I will see the Lord's goodness

    while I am here in the land of the living.

Wait patiently for the Lord.

    Be brave and courageous.

    Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.

Psalm 27

God you are amazing, thank you for using Callie to speak to me and to help me find Your peace and Your help.  Every tear I cry You hold in Your hand, but I will continue to praise You in this storm.

blessed

San Juan de la Cruz Noche oscura ...Aquesta me guiaba más cierto que la luz del mediodía adonde me esperaba quien yo bien me sabía en parte donde naide parecía. ¡Oh noche que guiaste! ¡oh noche amable más que la alborada!; ¡oh noche que juntaste, Amado con amada, amada en el Amado transformada! En mi pecho florido, que entero para él solo se guardaba, allí quedó dormido, y yo le regalaba, y el ventalle de cedros aire daba. El aire del almena, cuando yo sus cabellos esparcía, con su mano serena en mi cuello hería, y todos mis sentidos suspendía. Quedéme y olvidéme, el rostro recliné sobre el Amado; cesó todo y dejéme, dejando mi cuidado entre las azucenas olvidado.

...This light guided me More surely than the light of noonday To the place where he (well I knew who!) was awaiting me -- A place where none appeared. Oh, night that guided me, Oh, night more lovely than the dawn, Oh, night that joined Beloved with lover, Lover transformed in the Beloved! Upon my flowery breast, Kept wholly for himself alone, There he stayed sleeping, and I caressed him, And the fanning of the cedars made a breeze. The breeze blew from the turret As I parted his locks; With his gentle hand He wounded my neck And caused all my senses to be suspended. I remained, lost in oblivion; My face I reclined on the Beloved. All ceased and I abandoned myself, Leaving my cares forgotten among the lilies.

Thank You my light, my love, mi amor.  Let me get lost in Your oblivion.  Thank You for amazing friends, for lessons, for Your breath.  Thank You for guiding me home and trying to fix me.  Thank You for YL, the joy and life of those who come to enjoy You.  Thank you for being here to focus on, I need You now to be my one light my one guiding light.

Fix You by Coldplay

Lights will guide you home

and ignite your bones

and I will try to fix you

Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were 

happening to you.  But rejoice insofar you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when His glory is 

revealed.  if you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the spirit and glory of God rests upon you."

1 Peter 4:12-14 

calling

There has been an on going question taking hold of my mind, body, and soul the past few days that I have been oblivious to until this moment.  Everywhere I turn there seems to be something, anything, everything asking me the question of Am I listening???

Am I hearing God's voice above all the noise and ruckus that is my worldly life?

Each day God has slipped in little nuances telling me to listen up.  While in the Grand Canyon reading and lounging at a secret spot a family was also enjoying the 300 degree view of the canyon from a spot farther away from the drop-off of the edge of the rock.  After a while the father decided to bring his son out farther to see just how magnificent the canyon really was and also to grab a quick picture.  Now, seeing as the dad was a tad bit afraid of heights, he was continually issuing commands to his son making sure to keep him safe.  He was overheard saying, "Sit still! Don't move! Keep your feet right there!" and my all time favorite he questioned his child to see if "his listening ears were on."  Not knowing the effect this would have on me his little son replied "they are at 101!"  Looking back on this interaction now I fully understand why this stuck out in my mind, God (my Father) wants me to constantly have my listening ears tuned all the way up to 101.  Since I so much crave child-like faith, I have to remember just what it felt like to be a child always having to listen to my parents who love me unconditionally and who tell me things that help me along the way.

This morning I found myself in the book of Numbers and, surprise surprise, I found myself wondering if I am really listening.  In Numbers 22-24, God speaks out to a pagan prophet known as Balaam.  This raised a lot of questions in my head: Since when did God talk to those who totally went against His covenant, against his laws?  (I had just gotten done reading Leviticus so all those rules, regulations, covenants, and laws were fresh in my mind.)  So, as my mind churned over this newly found information I wondered if since God spoke out to Balaam and called him to recite what he had been told, then God has got to be trying to do the same in my life... But, then why am I not always hearing what He has to say?

I want to know how God is moving, I want to know what He is thinking, I want to know of all His beauty He has so freely given.  So, why am I not hearing a lot of this?  I find myself distracted very easily by the sounds of the world.  I find my mind wandering to the plans I have for myself that day or the worries and struggles I will have to overcome.  I begin to have feelings of jealousy or want over material things.  I forget to turn to God, my Savior.  For it is said, "surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid.  The Lord, the Lord, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation" Isaiah 12:2.

God is my song, He is the noise that I want in my life.  Lord, help me get rid of the excess loudness that is surrounding my every thought every action.  Help my life become simple, with You my only focus.  Remind me to turn my listening ears all the way up to 101.  Amen.