purpose

A huge theme in my life this past week has been purpose and all the implications surrounding this topic.  Having to figure out classes for next semester, applying for summer jobs, and talking about track all have got me thinking:  Just what is my purpose?  What is God's purpose for me?  What do I want my purpose to be?  Do those 2 match up?  How can my life be purpose driven if I don't even know what my purpose is?

What is my purpose?  Now that is a loaded question and anyone who knows their own answer to this questions I am in awe of.  I have absolutely positively not a clue as to what my purpose in life is at this moment.  The big picture remains a mystery to me, floating around just out of reach.  I get glimpses of what my purpose may look like but, this is all to no avail.  I have yet been able to reach high enough to grasp my purpose out from under God's hands.

I have started to read and go through the book A Purpose Driven Life with my friend and teammate Sarah and so far it has immensely helped me become at peace with the fact that I may not know my purpose in life yet.  It all will be O.K. because God is love, and this Love will never leave me or lead me astray; that is pretty awesome.  I have Him to become my driving force, my reason for doing things.  I am trying to no longer be motivated and pushed by wanting to be better than another person (comparisons) or resentment or anger (jealousy) or materialism.  I want God to be in the forefront of my actions, my thoughts, my everything.  I want His light to be my lamp, my guidance.  In fact I need it.

Without Him I would be living a life full of hopelessness; I would be a chicken with its head cut off wandering through the world, with not a clue as to what is going on or where I am going.  With Jesus I have hope, I have a future, I have peace.  Thank goodness for that.  Despite not knowing what my purpose is or which roads I am going to take, I know where I will end up.  No matter what journey He decides for me they will all end in the same amazing paradise.  And this is what I will focus on.  I won't focus on the fact that I have NO idea where life will take me because God already knows my way, He makes my paths straight and will lead me to Him when it is all said and done.