Here is the culmination of some of cherished things that I am discovering on my amazing run with Jesus.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Waiting, hoping, wanting...

These three verbs are a huge part of my life right now, as this week is a enormous transition from being a full time college student and being constantly on the run from one activity to the next, to now, having absolutely nothing pending or needing to be accomplished.  I have realized over this past week that I am  not good at motivating myself to do any old thing when my whole life is not scheduled out.  I find myself thinking of so many things I could be doing and that I need to do by the end of summer but, I just cannot bring myself to do any of them.  
I am waiting for the time when I am busy to actually accomplish something?  This should be the opposite.  I don't know what I am thinking.  I am waiting for that one text, that one call.  I am stuck in this time of nothingness.  I am waiting for July 27.  My summer is on hold until that date.  I am waiting for work to officially start.

I am hoping to read a gazillion good books... yet have not bought any.  I am hoping to hang out with young life girls... yet I have not made that text.  I am hoping to discover just who I want to be this summer... yet I haven't moved past my current state of mind.  I am hoping to have the best summer... yet all I have done is catch up on sleep and TV shows.

I want this to be different.  If this summer is going to be different I need to make a move, I need to find motivation and inspiration somewhere.  I want my heart to find something that I truly love and can pour into.  I want to find the perfect place to volunteer and to give back to this amazing world and city I live in.

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