Being alone with my thoughts is SCARY!
Being forced to contemplate everything is terrifying because I find myself exploring paths that I never ever wanted to travel down again. It would be a lot easier for me to fill my days to the brim with anything and everything under the sun in order to avoid introspection. It would be easy.
But....
Since when did I make the decision to try to make my life the easiest as possible? Since when have I decided to walk around a hurdle instead of facing it head on?
An easy life is not one that I want to experience. I want to be challenged each day in order to GROW and to become ready to meet You. Days of nothingness allow me to grow, allow me to analyze my life, my decisions, my thoughts, everything that composes me. Days of nothingness are a struggle and always will be because I do not like reflection (especially when I know that I have not been on fire for You).
I am throwing away the easy in my life and taking this obstacle head on without avoidance. I need to face my past if I ever desire to grow up and beyond the tiny box I am stuck in. This is where I need Your help, I need You to comfort me and forgive me for everything that I have ever done to make my life easy.
No comments:
Post a Comment